Anakin Got Run Over by a Sith Lord
by Douglas Neman
Summary: A Christmas filk. This has two more verses than the song it comes from, but I had so much material I didn't know what else to do. Some of the words don't quite fit, but if you say "Anakin," "millennium" and "Coruscant" really fast you can fit each word into one syllable. Just work with me on this.


CHORUS  
Anakin got run over by a Sith Lord,  
Running to our ship on Tatooine.  
You can say they've been extinct for a millennium,  
But as for me and Qui-Gon, we have seen.

Anakin wasn't born in the Republic,  
But he was very special, we could tell.  
So Qui-Gon uploaded me a sample,  
And I found his midi-chlorians were off the scale.

He was cute, this boy of wonder,  
Filled with good from head to toe.  
He'd win a race against all odds,  
Just so we could repair our ship and go.

CHORUS  
Anakin got run over by a Sith Lord,  
Running to our ship on Tatooine.  
You can say they've been extinct for a millennium,  
But as for me and Qui-Gon, we have seen.

Now we're all so proud of Anakin.  
He's been so very good and bold!  
And my master thinks he might be,  
The Chosen One the prophecies foretold.

So Qui-Gon took another gamble,  
And there was no room for any screw-up.  
We couldn't just take Anakin with us,  
'Cause he had a transmitter to BLOW YOU UP!  
(How wude!)

CHORUS  
Anakin got run over by a Sith Lord,  
Running to our ship on Tatooine.  
You can say they've been extinct for a millennium,  
But as for me and Qui-Gon, we have seen.

Now the fruit is on the table,  
And Jar Jar gulps them one by one. (Ah!)  
The time he was having was fantastic,  
Until Qui-Gon reached out and caught his tongue.

And while they ate they hatched our plan.  
Getting back to Coruscant was a must.  
Anakin would fly the pod and win the race,  
And we could finally get off this ball of dust.

CHORUS  
Anakin got run over by a Sith Lord,  
Running to our ship on Tatooine.  
You can say they've been extinct for a millennium,  
But as for me and Qui-Gon, we have seen.

Even though Sebulba cheated,  
Anakin won the race and saved the day!  
And Qui-Gon won for him his freedom,  
For as a Jedi did his destiny lay.

But as he ran across the desert,  
Trying to keep up with Qui-Gon on the hike,  
He was almost splattered everywhere  
By some black-hooded demon on a bike.

CHORUS  
Anakin got run over by a Sith Lord,  
Running to our ship on Tatooine.  
You can say they've been extinct for a millennium,  
But as for me and Qui-Gon, we have seen.

The demon wielded a red lightsaber,  
And he fought with strength and skill.  
He wasn't just trying to impress us,  
He drove in and went straight for the kill.

So I'm warning you, Jedi Council,  
The Sith are back and they're on our case!  
But they should never train a Jedi  
Who's head is covered with horns and paints his face.

CHORUS  
Oh!  
Anakin got run over by a Sith Lord,  
Running to our ship on Tatooine.  
You can say they've been extinct for a millennium,  
But as for me and Qui-Gon, we have see-ee-eeeeeen.

* * *

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon lowered their guitars solemnly and bowed. Mace Windu and Yoda looked at each other with trepidation, and Yoda took his fingers out of his ears.

"Hmp," Yoda whispered. "Need singing lessons, they do."

Mace nodded once, and turned back to the two standing Jedi Knights. "Is that your report of the events that transpired on Tatooine?"

"In THX sound, Master," Qui-Gon said, giving a little bow.

Obi-Wan spoke up. "The last time we returned from a mission, we presented our report as a connected string of Haiku verse."

"And before that, performance art," Qui-Gon said.

"And before that, charades," Obi-Wan added.

"And don't forget the ballet," Qui-Gon said.

"Ooh," Obi-Wan winced. "That hurt my toes, master." Then he turned back to the Council. "But you expressed your displeasure at all of those methods, so we decided to try something a little simpler this time."

Yoda just shook his head, and turned to Mace Windu again. "Never on the Council shall these two sit. Never!"

The End (for now)

(I'm also envisioning a picture of Darth Maul as Santa Claus, but it's beyond my ability to draw.)


End file.
